Rob's Rankings, Week 2: Coaching debuts; throwing down with mascots

A head coach’s first game can set the tone for a season or an era. It can also just as easily mean absolutely nothing and function as a outlier for the larger theme. That won’t stop us from ranking them, though. This week, we take a look at the coaching debuts and rank them from wildly impressive to total disaster.

** Coaches such as LSU’s Ed Oregon and Indiana’s Tom Allen, whom served as their school’s head coach in at least one game last season, were ineligible to be ranked.

RELATED: Mike Farrell's best and worst from Week 1 | Week 1 breakout stars

Result: 35-30 win over North Carolina

Overview: Wilcox’s first game calling the shots at Cal featured a team that won just five games starting a brand new quarterback on the road against an ACC team and getting the win anyway. Wilcox’ history as a defensive coach was on full display, but the new offensive system put up solid numbers as well. Suddenly, there’s bowl hope in Berkeley

Result: 56-7 win over UTEP

Overview: Nobody is going to anoint Riley as the second coming of Bear Bryant for drilling UTEP at home, but it looked to be business as usual for the Sooners. And when you consider how some other coaching debuts went over the weekend, that’s a massive victory. Oklahoma seems to already be clicking under its new coach. All is well on Campus Corner.

Result: 77-21 win over Southern Utah

Overview: Taggart’s first game at Oregon started with a 100-yard kickoff return and the game’s tone stayed true to its opening scene. Even if the competition level was low, the Ducks, coming off a 4-8 season, seemed energized in a way they haven’t been in years. Regardless of opponent, the game provided no reason for even a hint of pessimism in Eugene.

Result: 35-28 loss to Louisville

Overview: Sure, it was a loss, but drawing a top-25 team and the returning Heisman Trophy winner in your head coaching debut is a tough break. Purdue led for a good portion of the game and was up 28-25 in the fourth quarterback before falling victim to Heisman winner Lamar Jackson. Anyone that denies the existence of moral victories needs to tell Brohm because Saturday sure felt like one.

Result: 17-10 win over Buffalo

Overview: A grind-it-out win over a MAC team that managed just two wins a year ago wasn’t the debut fans wanted out of Fleck, but it’s what they got and they’ll take it. Still, Minnesota’s 17 points were the fewest points scored on the Bulls since November, 2015. So, you know, not great, but it beats a loss.

Result: 51-41 loss to Maryland

Overview: It ended with Texas fans throwing cardboard onto the field. Texas looked outmatched by an improved-but-unranked opponent for most of the first half before tightening up some in the second. Did the fans and reporters create unreasonable expectations for Herman? Maybe so, but expectations didn’t beat the Longhorns at home. Maryland did.

Result: 48-45 loss to Liberty

Overview: Losing to an FCS team is certainly one way to start your tenure at a new program. It’s just not a very good one. Saturday was nothing short of a disaster for Rhule, whose defense allowed Flames quarterback Stephen Calvert to throw for 447 yards and three touchdowns. Some scratched their heads when Rhule, a hot coaching commodity, decided to take the Baylor job this offseason amid scandal and recruiting disaster. Maybe Rhule is wondering the same thing.

Mascots are a pillar of college football. Kids love them. Some adults are creeped out by them and sometimes they get into physical altercations with each other. Still, some furry costumes are more imposing than others. This week’s overtime is spent ranking the five Power 5 mascots I’d least like to fight.

For the purpose of this activity, mascots much surrender their weapons at the door of the ring … or cage … or sketchy bar. If we allowed foreign objects, this would just be a list of mascots with guns. Sorry, West Virginia Mountaineer. Also, live animal mascots are disqualified as, I’m not standing toe-to-toe with a 900-pound steer in Austin, Texas.

Why I don’t want any part of him: Because he has face is filthy and he looks like a man with absolutely nothing to lose. Pistol Pete has seen some things. He’s grizzled, he’s nasty and if you took away his chaps and cowboy hat, he’d look like a desperate grifter. A guy that doesn’t care enough to wipe decades-old dirt off his face isn’t worried about taking a punch … or jail time … or a homicide charge.

Why I don’t want any part of him: Because he’s actually Satan … or at least Satan adjacent. Look, I’m not a particularly religious guy, but I have no interest in starting a fight with the Prince of Darkness. This also goes for the Duke’s Blue Devil mascot, which is a little less Lucifer-like because of it being blue. Still, I have a strict no-demon-fighting policy.

Why I don’t want any part of him: Because better men than I have regretted starting a fight with a Midwestern construction type. These guys are not to be crossed. Hammer or no hammer, this ends with Pete drinking a single Busch Light over my unconscious body before going home at crushing 11 more in his garage only to wake up for work unfazed at 5 a.m. the next day.

Why I don’t want any part of him: Because if the first classic blunder is getting in a land war in Asia and the second is going in against a Sicilian when death is on the line, the third is definitely fighting a New Jerseyite wearing a helmet and armor. Actually, fighting anyone from New Jersey, armor-clad or otherwise, probably isn’t going to end well.

Why I don’t want any part of him: The costume is literally just a head, which allows unobstructed access to the fact that the person wearing it is always jacked. How little I’d like to fight Willie varies from year to year, but the prospect of throwing down with an in-shape man-beast hybrid that has both fangs and opposable thumbs is terrifying.